Imprints and Impressions

All my life it has been like this...
When the world walked East, I walked West
When the world said 'Yes!', I was forced to say 'No!'
I was always born as the thorn,
and never the rose, beautiful and fragrant.

I always missed the bus to a beautiful destiny
I was always the last in the queue,
and when my turn came, the counter closed.
The ice-cream melted before I licked it
The rainbow faded away before I counted the colours.

I plucked the jasmine fresh...
but it withered before I could smell the sweetness.
It has always been the slip between a cup and a sip..
I was the gray cloud in a blue sky,
the blood at the tip of a shining sword.

Then the day came when I decided to put an end to my misery
and set out on an unknown path to find an unknown light.
I walked through stormy nights and stony roads
and at last saw a faint glow far far away
I hastened my pace, fell and bruised myself, but went on determined..

I stop in my tracks to find myself at the edge of a cliff
and still see the light glowing at a distance.
I look down the cliff to witness an abysmal depth
the end of which is not visible to my doubting eye
I know not what awaits me- it could be death, it could be hope

As I get ready to take the plunge, I am well aware
that it is hope against hope to hope that it's hope
which awaits me down below.
Something in me-the devil or the angel?
urges me to dive headlong, and tells me this:

'A new death (or who knows, even hope!)
is better than your old life. So jump..into your....'
I look back at the life I came from,
and then look down at my.............well, fate.
I do not know which one to fear the most.

As I shudder at my past, and shiver at my future,
I wish I knew for sure it is hope down below...in vain?
But is hope hidden like this in unknown, frightening depths?
The end of thoughts, the beginning of the journey as I fall as if on impulse.
For a fleeting moment, I soar down ahead, then feel a pull.

I am afraid to open my eyes, lest the feeling I feel vanish.
Maybe it is hope that I was caught in, which saved me
from hitting the hard ground far far below..
All of a sudden, I feel weightless, I am floating...
gliding...swaying...blowing like a breeze toward the sky.

I am on the whitest, fluffiest cloud on a clear blue sky
with angels doting on me and offering honey to drink
Someone lovingly holds my hand..and leads me somewhere...
Oh, is it true, is it true.....
is it really a dream come true?