Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mosafer

0 comments Posted by Anjali at 2:35 AM

Pulled back into a remote past, which I almost forgot existed...
I feel that innocence, that child-like tenderness, blissful freedom once again!
I feel joy like a child gifted with a big balloon, when she was eyeing it longingly.
How I wish i lived on in this moment forever- unharmed and untied by sharp arrows of passion, wasteful tears!

Holding my father's finger, I walk through a fare, balloon in hand,
raptured by everything around me, too fascinated to linger on to one thing
and too happy to cling on to any one happiness.
I come back home, sleep like a baby that I was.

When did I lose it all? Why did it leave me butchered?
Now, something different has enveloped me- something invading, and unrelenting.
Does not let me go- or am I not letting it go?
I am addicted, bonded, overpowered,
just as I thought nothing could conquer this beautiful mind..

In nature, I sense you; in music, I live you;
and in tears, I long for you..
Like waves on the beach, you embrace me, then leave me all of a sudden,
and I never know when you will come to me next, and neither do you.

Hope- is this heaven or hell? Why can I not stop hoping,
even with signs everywhere urging me to retreat?
You are my pain, and a cushion for my pain at the same time!
I can't leave you, and that is a pain; I try to leave you, and that is a worse pain..

You invite me to you, and when I come, it was all an illusion.
I am dissolved now, into an unfamiliar feeling
where nothing seems real, but nothing is a dream anymore.

 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Waiting for dawn again

1 comments Posted by Anjali at 11:56 PM

I was fast asleep, and blissfully unaware
as the sun dawned, heralding a new beginning, a new day.
When I awoke, the sun was bright and warm,
lighting up the world around me, and inside my soul..

I was too busy with my day to notice, or acknowledge this.
Why will I be grateful, if the sun rose? It is perfectly natural and even expected!
The day wore on, and the sun grew hotter, as if to remind me of its presence, in vain.
I was annoyed, and blamed the sun for its unbearable heat.

I 'suffered' the heat, and 'survived' the duration of the sun's last attempt to catch my attention.
The clock ticked on, and a cool breeze awoke me to the truth..
I then beheld a most beautiful sunset, enjoying the twilight hues, realizing how perfect
and necessary the sun was to me, a part of me all day, every second!

I resolved to reform, to show better gratitude to the gift I have been receiving,
the warmth I felt throughout- a flicker of enlightenment had just struck me!
Little did I realize that the most beautiful moments were a sacrifice,
a beautiful way of saying an apology, and a little farewell.

Darkness grew, I was cold and became scared, and felt all alone..
I wanted to shout out for the sunshine to embrace me again, just one more time.
Regrets were all I sensed in me, and even my tears were mocking my state..
I suddenly realized how alive I had unconsciously felt all this time.

Why does recognition always happen just before it all ends?
Why are second chances so difficult to come by?
Why is it so hard to let go of ego, and give everything its rightful due, while the sun still shines?
Will my sun rise again, and will I wake up to it, relishing its warmth and hope once more?

Never again will I wake up too late to truth
or doze off before the lullaby ends..
Never again will I ask for a second chance to do a pending deed.
All I want is for my sun to shine on my soul again, and dispel this infernal blindness.

 

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