Imprints and Impressions

Pulled back into a remote past, which I almost forgot existed...
I feel that innocence, that child-like tenderness, blissful freedom once again!
I feel joy like a child gifted with a big balloon, when she was eyeing it longingly.
How I wish i lived on in this moment forever- unharmed and untied by sharp arrows of passion, wasteful tears!

Holding my father's finger, I walk through a fare, balloon in hand,
raptured by everything around me, too fascinated to linger on to one thing
and too happy to cling on to any one happiness.
I come back home, sleep like a baby that I was.

When did I lose it all? Why did it leave me butchered?
Now, something different has enveloped me- something invading, and unrelenting.
Does not let me go- or am I not letting it go?
I am addicted, bonded, overpowered,
just as I thought nothing could conquer this beautiful mind..

In nature, I sense you; in music, I live you;
and in tears, I long for you..
and I never know when you will come to me next, and neither do you.

Hope- is this heaven or hell? Why can I not stop hoping,
even with signs everywhere urging me to retreat?
You are my pain, and a cushion for my pain at the same time!
I can't leave you, and that is a pain; I try to leave you, and that is a worse pain..

You invite me to you, and when I come, it was all an illusion.
I am dissolved now, into an unfamiliar feeling
where nothing seems real, but nothing is a dream anymore.